Life

Have you ever used the phrase “Hind sight’s 20/20”?

Every time I hear Brad Paisley’s song “If I could write a letter to me” I always think about what I would say to my 17 year old self.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ3bn7V0zdU

Would I tell myself all the great things that will happen or would I voice warnings? Warn her that times will be very hard? Tell her to exercise? Tell her not to ride the ill fated four wheeler that ruins her knee? Tell her to pay closer attention at school and to go ahead and go to college? Tell her to visit her Grandmother a lot more often, as she won’t see her after the age of 14?  Would I tell her about her brother in laws death? Would I tell her to take a Dave Ramsey course right out of High School? Would I tell her to just choose Nursing instead of Medical Assisting or teaching?

Or would I tell her that the man she’s in love with is her soul mate, no need to worry? Would I tell her that the infertility won’t matter in a few years? Would I tell her that God will find her and heal her wounds? Would I tell her that she will be a wonderful mother and wife? Would I tell her that though life is hard, all the beautiful moments make it all ok? Would I tell her that her job will be very rewarding? Would I tell her that money isn’t everything. Would I tell her to hug her babies as much as possible because they grow up so fast?

Knowing me, I would focus more on the items that would make my life now, more comfortable. But would changing those things change everything? If I had lost weight sooner would we have had more children naturally? Would that have had an impact on our decision in 2007? (see previous blog) If I had done Nursing earlier and not Medical Assisting would we even still live locally? Impacting my friendships. If I warned my brother in law about how his lifestyle will end his life sooner, what would happen? Would it save his life?

Obviously I have no way of knowing the answers to these questions but I often wonder if I had thought things out and changed course a few times if life would be easier. Not better, just easier.

But that’s what this life is about. Change and struggle and learning. I have to remember that just because I’ve made the wrong decisions in my past doesn’t mean they have to effect me forever. That I can change things for the better. And it’ll be hard but I have to do it. Nobody else will. And I can start soon…..like…tomorrow.

I am going to change my life for the better, for my kids, for my husband, and for me.

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