Teacher, Air Force Pilot, Oceanographer, Wildlife Biologist, these are the things I thought I’d become once upon a time.
Do we ever really live out our childhood dreams? Oh, I’m sure some people do. But I would venture to say that most people end up going down a different path than their childhood selves imagined.
What would my 9-year-old self think of where I am now?
That little girl had huge dreams, was told she could do anything, and yet….didn’t do what it takes to achieve those huge dreams.
I graduated high school with a decent GPA. There wasn’t enough money to go to college. There also wasn’t much desire.
I had already met my husband and we were planning on getting married. My mom was alone at home, not retired yet, but I couldn’t imagine not being around her. Moving away wasn’t an option.
This is when my dreams changed.
I was no longer the 9 yr old staring at the stars wanting to do something amazing with my life. Something that wouldn’t support having a husband, children, home or staying in my small hometown.
Now I dreamed of being a mom. One of life’s greatest careers.
In 1997 that dream came true. It was amazing!
I enjoy being a mother. I am not a Super mom as some would think though. I struggle daily between adoring my children and wanting to sell them to the next gypsies! But deep down, I would love to still be a stay at home mom to them.
But that’s not my reality.
You hear stories of people who just decide to live a different life. They sell everything, move away, and start doing what they love.
Oh how I wish I had that kind of bravery! To go and travel and live the life you want. To get up when your body is done resting, to take in the beauty that God created, to meet people and hear their stories, to find out who you really are!
Again, not my reality.
Maybe one day, when the kids are all grown, and the house is paid for, we can do a small amount of that.
Maybe, we will be blessed to have a lovely retirement and see God’s country and meet His people.
But for now, I will continue to raise my children, teach them about the world and the Lord, attempt to not kill them in the process and go to work each day so that one day I can live the life my 9-year-old self dreamed of.