My Journey’s My Own

A Devotional

As women, so many of us get caught up in our everyday life. So do our husbands. There’s really no way around it because it happens to the best of us. However, we have to stop once in a while and nurture our marriages if they are going to last.

Most Christians all said the same vows when we got married. “To have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live….I DO” Of course, over time, these vows have changed slightly but the basic understanding is there. We are to take care of each other.

So many couples forget to do this. They marry, have kids right away, work on their careers, buy a house, car, etc..and go through the motions of achieving their dreams. But what was your dream when you were taking his hand and saying your vows? Was it a house and a car and all the material things? Or was it to be married for life? 

I highly doubt anyone goes into their marriage assuming it will end in divorce. The sad reality is that almost 50% will. 

I was 19 in 1994 when I married my husband. We were told we wouldn’t make it. Not only have we proven all the disbelievers wrong, but we are more in love now then we were then. And we have been through the valley of death and back again. 

So how did we do it? 

We NURTURED our marriage!

• We waited to have our first baby for two years. We wanted to make sure we liked each other enough to live together before we brought a child into our marriage.
• We say I LOVE YOU multiple times a day. It never gets old and it never feels routine. 
• We enjoy each other physically. Even when one of us doesn’t feel like it, we do it anyway. A physical relationship is very important and there’s no deeper connection.
• We fight! Didn’t see that coming did you? We FIGHT! It’s therapeutic! Get it off your chest, yell, and cry, and apologize when you’re wrong! Walk away when you need to. Plus, make up sex is GREAT!
• We DATE each other. So many couples forget to do this. Keep dating! It doesn’t have to be extravagant, or expensive. It’s more about taking time away from the daily routine and being alone together. 
• We also do small things for each other.
  • Household chores, making each other a lunch for work the next day, making each other’s plates at dinner, holding doors open, making a pot of coffee, etc.
• He takes care of spiders and vermin and I clean up vomit and poop (LOL)
• We know each other’s love language also. No, we didn’t read the book but we both paid attention to what the other person responds to best. It’s not that hard.

The bottom line is pay attention to your marriage, because when you nurture that relationship all the other ones in your home will be nurtured as well. It makes us better parents and better people when we are happy and feel loved by our life partner. 

Actions/Questions

Find one thing you could do for your spouse, however small, and do it. Don’t draw attention to it, and don’t expect anything in return. Just do it.

How many times do you text your husband “I love you” in a day? Multiply that by 5!

If you’re struggling in your marriage, pray for guidance and ask someone you trust to pray for your marriage. (I would do this for you and keep it in extreme confidence)

Sit down and make a date list. Five to ten activities you would both enjoy, then set the dates to do them. You can do this alone and surprise him or do it together. Whatever works best for you. Here’s my list from a few years ago if you need ideas. 

Verses

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Cor 7:3 NIV

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Eph 4:2 NIV

“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Prov 31:12 NIV

“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun-all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life.” Ecc 9:9 NIV