Our Mommy’s are the first people to love us so purely that it can never be replicated. They teach us everything and do so with grace and love. Many of us don’t even think of our mother’s as women until we have become adults ourselves. Until then, they’re simply, Mom.
Mine was extraordinary.
I am the youngest of five children and an afterthought at that. So I did not get the same childhood as my siblings and losing our mother a few years ago meant I didn’t get the same amount of time either.
I wasn’t done.
We are never done. Few people speak of what the loss of a parent means or how it feels since it’s the nature of things. Yet, losing your mother is a pain that never wanes and it tears a part of the heart out that will never heal.
Mothers are a force to be reckoned with. They protect us and teach us. They guide us and give advice. Mine was the strongest and hardest worker I ever came across and she loved all of us fiercely.
As teens, we usually battle our mothers the hardest. We fight and scratch, roll our eyes and disobey. It’s in our genetics that we do this as we fight for our independence.
When we have our own babies, so much of what our mothers said or did comes into focus for us. What we used to rebel against becomes wisdom that we absolutely need to absorb. We find value in our mother’s words and seek her out in our times of need.
Living without her seems to be something we can not do. It’s an unbearable thought. Some are blessed to have their mother’s for great lengths of time. My great-aunt lived into her 90’s. I lost my mother when she was just 78, which made me 40. And, it wasn’t enough.
Living without her guidance is painful and hard but now I’m the Mother and now the Grandmother. It’s my turn to take up the reins and lead.
We cry our share of tears as we sort through their belongings. We scream in pain as the memories flood us with an ache that goes to our core. We cling to our husbands and children like life rafts. Because we are drowning in sorrow.
And we persevere. We keep living. The sun keeps shining. We transition to a low ache and we begin smiling at the memories. We share those memories and moments with the family and friends they touched. We pray our prayers of thanksgiving for the times spent together and the love we were given. We pray that we are just a little like them because we know we can never truly measure up.
There’ll never be another like her.
Nobody will ever love us like she did.
Lamentations 3:32-33 “Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.”
Proverbs 14:13 “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief.”
Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’-which is the first commandment with a promise- ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy life on the earth.”
Lord, you gave us the very best in our mothers. You chose well. We have said goodbye to her and now she’s with you again. Let us see glimpses of her in our daily lives, let us smell her perfume, hear her whispers, see her in our children’s eyes. Heal our hearts and help us to glorify her and you in our forward motions. Guide us as our Father as she guided us as our Mother. Show is that we are now the matriarch and aid us in being worthy of the title. We ask this in your amazing and glorious name. -Amen
Questions & Actions:
How can you honor your mom today?
What was her favorite song or book? Listen or read it to connect with her.
Tell a story about her, even if the kids have heard it a hundred times. And ask them to tell one of their favorites.
Hold something of hers to feel her presence. Say a prayer thanking God for her.
What is the one trait you share with her?