Fat is a Four Letter Word

We have all done it. There’s no denying it. We have been judgmental. We have looked down on those that don’t fit into the mold that we have in our head of what “good” people look like.

It’s a horrible thing. It’s something I am trying hard not to do. Not only because it’s wrong but because I don’t want to be judged simply by my appearance.

I began to gain weight when I was only 12 years old. I was in the 6th grade and gained 30 pounds in one school year. Children are cruel little creatures. I was mooed at, called fat, left out, picked last and made fun of. I was even dated as a joke once. So yes I was teased, though not as horribly as you would think.

My mother had drilled it into me never to hurt someones feelings on purpose. So even if someone was being mean to me, no matter why, I was still worried about hurting their feelings if I retaliated. I honestly believe this helped curtail the teasing. Because i didn’t fight back. Though today, with social media and the extent of the teasing possibilities, this is not an action I necessarily advocate. It worked for me in the 80’s when there was almost zero technology.

As an adult most of my judging is in my head. I don’t usually say anything out loud. Sometimes, it’s truly horrible what I think. I often joke that I’m going to hell due to my “mean girl” thoughts. The fact of the matter is that this is simple human nature.

We are geared to see others by physical appearance. It’s how we process that information and how we respond to it that can set us apart from the rude and crude of the world.

Obviously being overweight for most of my life, I’m sure I was judged on a daily if not hourly basis. In fact, I was judging myself harsher than anyone else could have been.

This is why I try not to make my judgy impressions into thoughts that can morph into being mean to someone or not giving someone a fair shake. It’s a learned behavior.

But does this make me a mean person or simply human?

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