A Revelation

It’s been a couple years since I’ve written in this blog. Mainly because my computer died and writing from an iPhone just doesn’t cut it. But the other reason is because I felt like a big, fat, failure.

I gained all my weight back after hitting my plateau. I found out that the knee surgery I had 9 years ago, was not a success and that my knees are worse than ever. According to the orthopedist, it is unwise of me to do any walking, running, or weight bearing exercise at all. I am headed for a knee replacement surgery eventually.

So all my talk about getting healthy and losing weight went out the window.

Then I suffered some devastating losses. I lost several people over the last three years that meant so much to me. This includes both of my parents.

And as I have shared in other posts, I am an emotional eater. There is something in the terrible food that tastes so good that gives me peace and an XXL backside!

So where am I going from here?

Well, believe it or not I am headed for surgery. Gastric Bypass, to be exact.

My doctor is in full support of this path. But it is a long path with our company. You are required to take classes, and attend support groups. Meet with dietitians and social workers, the surgeon and so on. They don’t take this lightly and don’t want the patients to either.

It’s not a fix all, it’s a tool. It’s a way to help ME to get better. This was not a decision that was made lightly. I have spoken to many people who’ve had the surgery. And I have decided that the benefits far outweigh the risks.

I don’t want to be this size any more. I don’t want to be unhealthy. I do not want food to run my life!

Oh how I love food. But I have to change my relationship with it. I have to or I am going to be this way forever and leave my family earlier than I should.

So that’s the path, that’s the new journey I am on.

I am going to keep a log of my journey, as it may help someone else.

I am still at the beginning of the path. I have taken a webinar, and gone to the orientation. I have taken a sleep study that stated I do have sleep apnea (grouchy face). So my next step is to get my cpap machine, then I get to meet with the dietitian and social worker.

Wish me luck.

XOXO

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