Weight

I have always tossed around the idea of starting a blog. But then I wondered, who would read it? But, after praying about it and thinking about it for long hours, I decided that I would still start one regardless. If someone reads this, great. If not, well then I am writing for myself.

“My Journey” has many facets. But the one I’ll write about today is my weight loss Journey. I began my new way of life about 2 months ago. In fact it was the weekend before Mother’s Day. I had hit a high number and couldn’t imagine going any higher. At my heaviest I was 310, but this kind of doesn’t count. As I was 9 months pregnant at the time. But in my wee little brain it counts. Not pregnant my high was 295. A shattering number. One that had me low. I was grouchy with my family, thinking mean thoughts about almost everyone and wanting to eat more and more. What the heck was that? My brain was in such a deep dark place that I was having horrible thoughts.

I had heard of a diet (and I loathe that word) that had worked for many friends. They had all lost over 50# in what seemed like a very short time. But it wasn’t cheap. And since money and weight are my two big issues in life, I had to decide if I was ready to fix at least one of them. Possibly at the expense (lol) of the other.

I sat down with my oldest child and my husband and had a heart to heart talk. I told them what had been going on in my mind, heart and my soul. I asked for their help and their support. For my husband, it was really necessary that he support me. This was going to cost us financially but would benefit us, as a couple, in so many ways. For my daughter it meant that she would start to see a new side of her mother. One who wasn’t motivated by food. One who was setting a good example. This is something that she needed. She needed to see me making those good choices but also she needed to understand that there may be less money and less yummy food in the house.

Thankfully they were both 110% on board and have been wonderful ever since.

My first four days on said diet were phenominal. I lost 10 lbs right out of the gate. Talk about inspiring!!! I was one motivated chick! And the food was great. Truly. I couldn’t believe that I was going to be able to do this and not feel deprived or starved. My doctor was so impressed with my success. See, I work in the health care field and my personal physician works in the same building. This is wonderful, I can keep her informed without going through all the channels (inter office email!) which makes me feel like my privacy is intact.

That first couple of weeks was so full of “light bulb” moments. I was full of energy, I was realizing how much I had actually THOUGHT about food each day, I was in a better mood (minus day two which was NOT fun), I was thinking about all the activities we should be doing instead of sitting on the couch and watching Biggest Loser, and I was inspired. I was inspired by ME. For the first time in my life I was doing something just for me. I was the only one in control of this. I was the only one who could make these small choices. But, I wasn’t the only one who would benefit from them. This was wonderful.

As of today I am down 29 lbs. I have decided to reward myself every 20. My first reward was a Geocaching app for my iphone. (more on that later) and I’m not sure what my next one will be. I have 11 more to go until that one gets redeemed. But I know I’ll get there.

What’s my goal? Well that could be an easy number to shoot out into the universe but the honest answer is, I just want to be healthier. I want to have the energy to play with my kids. To have more fun with my spouse. To shop in the normal section of a clothing store. To be able to wear my husband’s coat if I forget mine. And maybe, to share clothes with my daughters. I want to be the REAL ME, the one who doesn’t hide behind food or fat. The one who wouldn’t be so afraid to share her opinions because someone might call me a name. The one God created.

That’s my goal.