My Momma

I was a boo boo baby. Mom and Dad were 38 when they found out that their 5th child was on the way. And needless to say they were shocked. There were so many concerns. In 1975 they didn’t have half of the diagnostic items that they have now. They didn’t know what to expect. They also didn’t know when I was due. Mom had an accident that caused her to go to the doctor. When the doctor told her the baby was fine, she had no idea what he was talking about. They estimated that she was almost 4 months pregnant. So my Journey with my Momma started off interesting to say the least.

My parents would divorce when I was only 4 years old. I don’t really remember it being a big deal. The way they used to fight was worse than Dad being gone. My two oldest brothers were off at college so it was just my sister, brother and I at home. Mom had to go to work for the first time in her life. And it was a struggle. I had to be babysat by my brother, who was only 13 at the time. I think he resents that a little. My sister went to work too, to help support us.

The homes we always had to live in were not the best. And that’s the nice way of saying it. A lot of times we didn’t have water, or power and one of the worst memories I ever had was having to drink powdered milk. YUCK. We even had a Christmas that our gifts were supplied by the local fire department. This would be my mother’s lowest point.

But then God started Mom’s Journey. She got a job as a waitress. Now, I know that doesn’t sound like much but for her it was a God send. This was money every day. She was an amazing waitress, she knew her customers and would reap the benefits. Tips baby, she made great tips. Often over $100 a day. Life changed.

Oh we were still poor, but we had power and water and food. Christmas changed and so did birthdays. She did her best.

My mother grew up poor too. Her father had passed away when she was five years old. Her mother had to move to Oregon from Colorado with her two little girls to live with her parents. She too would have to go to work to support her little family. But, just like me, these would become my mommas favorite times and memories.

She’s never had it easy but she’s almost always tried to be happy. It’s only now in her older years that she’s starting to get crotchety. I think she’s allowed.

I wasn’t an easy child to raise. LOL Hardly! I was a pain. As an adult I know this. I truly should have been spanked a lot more than I was, in fact I don’t have a conscious memory of my mother ever spanking me. (siblings are a different story). I wasn’t the kind of kid that cussed her out or anything but wow did I have a mouth on me. I argued, I sassed, I rolled my eyes, I was a BRAT! And all she ever did was try her hardest to give me a better life than she had.

She saved and saved for us to take small vacations down the Oregon Coast during the summer. My only request was the motels we stayed in had a pool. She always came through. I know now, that we could have had even more fun had I not made this particular request. She saved and saved and saved for me to go to Washington DC in the 7th grade. It’s a trip that I still treasure to this day. That one made me realize how awesome my mom was.

We hit our roughest patch during my Junior year in high school. I knew everything. I had a boyfriend (not my love) who was not good for me but in my eyes was amazing. I was smoking and drinking and thinking that I was so smart keeping this all from her. Guess what? She knew. The only thing I wasn’t doing was having sex. For some reason I knew that would be going over a line that I would never come back from. (Thank you Jesus)

When I wised up and started to come back to where my momma needed me to be, that’s when I met and fell in love for real. Now it was about to get interesting. She saw this as a repeat of the last boy incident. She didn’t like him. AT ALL. His family name had a bad reputation and someone had shared that with her. He was a quiet guy who just didn’t talk much. This meant he was bad news in her eyes. Then the unthinkable happened. He proposed.

She was furious!

But what could she do? I sure couldn’t be reasoned with. But God opened her heart to him and by the time that we got married two years later, she loved him. In fact, now she says that if we ever divorce, she’s going to be on his side. Gee, Thanks Mom!!

But I couldn’t ask for more. I put this poor woman through a lot and she has never deserted me. She has been there for me. She watched her Granddaughter come into the world and cried with her child as I made that happen. She babysat for us for years and without that we would have been in the poor house. She has always been there, through everything. Because she’s my mommy. I know now, as a mother myself, that there is never a question about whether I will be there for my kids. I will. Always.

Mom, 1957

Us in 2015

But I learned from the best. And that says it all.