Easy Way Out?

First and foremost I can tell you this was not, I repeat, NOT the easy way out.

There is nothing about this process that’s easy. I have heard many of my WLS brothers and sisters say how they have been told by many in their lives that they’ve taken the easy way out. How insulting! We are a community of people who are trying to save our lives! Would you tell a transplant patient that their new organ was “the easy way out”? 

Of course not! Because that’s ludicrous! 

  1. I’m sure people say this due to many factors. One being jealousy, lack of empathy, or a simple lack of knowledge. So I will educate you on my experience. Below you will see just exactly what I had to do to accomplish my 113 pound weight loss and the reclamation of my life!
  2. I had to humble myself and ask my doctor for the referral to the bariatric program. Which may not sound like a huge deal, but admitting that you’re too obese to lose weight on your own to another person, isn’t easy!
  3. I then had to admit how many times I had failed at losing it alone. How I FAILED at Weight Watchers, Medifast, regular diet and exercise, Atkins, Advocare etc. 
  4. Then it was off to the first orientation group meeting. And because I live in a small town, one hour away from the big city, I had to travel 60 miles for this meeting. I was in a room with about 40 other people seeking surgery. We heard from the nutritionist and the surgeons. They mapped it out for us. They told us the ups and downs and the docs even drew a diagram of what our new plumbing would look like. And the surgeons were BLUNT. They informed us that we were there to have something fixed that wasn’t broken. There was nothing wrong with our digestive system. The problem was our brains. But changing one could change the other, if you’re willing to put in the work. I was. 
  5. Then I had to take an 8 week course on eating healthy and moving. Again, normally this is done in person but due to distance they let me do this on the web. And for some reason, while I was doing this step in my process, I gained almost 15 pounds! Talk about feeling like a failure! I was convinced they weren’t going to let me have the surgery because my brain was screwing everything up while being aided by my stupid mouth!
  6. I then had to meet with nutrition. I was terrified. I thought this woman was going to judge me and tell me how horrible I was. How fat and ugly I was and how I didn’t deserve to receive help. Nothing could have been further from the truth. She was so kind and she’s the one that told me I belonged there. I deserved it and she was there to help me, not to judge me. She was the one that told me that getting in 10 minutes of MOVEMENT, not necessarily exercise, was allowed and even encouraged. 
  7. Then I had to meet the surgeon. The man with my life in his hands. He was the key. His first words to me set the tone. “I’m kind of a big deal” WOW. Ego much? Yeah, I didn’t like him for about the first 45 minutes of our hour visit. That was the worst 45 minutes of my life. As this man’s ego filled the room and spoke about how great he was and how his patients all adore him. How I got to where I am and how without his help I would always be fat. Then he turned to my daughter and critiqued her weight, Mama bear almost came out at that point. But I NEEDED this man! Finally during the last 15 minutes, he changed his demeanour. He became empathetic, understanding and supportive. Why he couldn’t have started the conversation like that I don’t know!
  8. I was then in a holding pattern to get scheduled for surgery. During this time I HAD to lose at least 20 pounds on my own! And of course my first thought was “HOW?” Obviously this was why I needed surgery. I couldn’t lose it on my own. 
  9. Finally surgery was scheduled for February 10, 2017!! 60 miles away from home. Away from family and friends. 
  10. Now was crunch time. I had to give up and limit those things that would hurt me after my procedure. Sugar, caffeine, meat, fat and carbs. So for about a month I became a vegetarian. Not something I loved. 
  11. Two weeks before hospital time, it was onto a liquid diet. Nothing solid. Jello was the closest thing I had that was of any consistency. I was battling hunger, cravings, headaches, diarrhea, emotions I didn’t know I had, I was grumpy and irritable. This was not going to be easy. How could I last 2 weeks?!
  12. Finally it was here. The day I was off to change my life. 
  13. Checked in, got naked for the nurses to prep me (that was special). Then into the operating room for a MAJOR surgery. This is where the surgeon, who was WAY nicer now, told the entire room what they were doing and who I was. I got to see the incredibly small operating table and asked out loud, how was my fat ass going to fit on there!? Thank goodness I was under anesthesia, as they would see me in all my naked splendor! They placed a catheter and performed the surgery. I have no clue how they moved me back to the gurney. They must have called in the Navy Seals or Marines or something.

  14. Then recovery. Pain, no food, IVs, Morphine that didn’t work. No shower. Catheter removal. Urine output being monitored. Multiple people coming in to look at my incisions. Still naked! 
  15. Finally home. Two more weeks of liquid diet, then onto soft foods. Soup had never tasted so good. 

Does any of this sound easy? Or even enjoyable? 

Not so much. But the reward is splendid!

I have my life back. My entire universe is so much brighter and I love my life. I still battle ongoing pains and digestive issues. Food choices are limited but it’s all worth it. And I would do it again without a second thought! 

I made a choice to save my life. And that was NOT easy. So please don’t insult me or my WLS brothers and sisters by saying it was.

***Disclaimer: I have never had anyone in my circle say this to me. I had just seen it said too much and felt the need to address it. Love you all.😍

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